By Denice Choka

So, my dear friend Ruth asked me the other day: How do I pray? What is it like for me, and why do I do it?

So, here is my path, my journey, and my story of faith in Christ that I pray will aid you in your own.

My Foundations
Well, let me start at the beginning. My mother, Eileen, taught me about religion as a young girl. Weekly, we attended Catholic Church, which had a contemporary service with great music and a band, and Sunday school to learn about God’s message.

Each week, I would ask for forgiveness for my less-than-stellar thoughts and deeds, and to get “fueled-up” to be a better Christian in the upcoming week. I have to say that I resonated with the music. The feeling that I received from listening to Jesus’ music was much stronger than the Word.

I have since learned that this is how I feel the Holy Spirit inside of me. Spirit sends chills down my body, often making me shudder, bringing a smile to my face, and sometimes a tear when my compassion for the heartache or pain of others is overwhelming.

I would watch my grandmother, Elizabeth, pray solemnly and steadfastly in the front pew of the church, wanting to be just like her and to have the same connection and relationship with God that she did.

My Crooked Path
I continued going to church at the Newman Center during college, often before we went out for an evening of fun. The first time I was married, it was in a Catholic church, only to be annulled within the year when I met my daughter’s dad. Yes, life can be very confusing. Oh, and it does not stop there.

My second husband’s children from his first marriage attended a Lutheran church, so to honor them and their mother, the Lutheran church was where we found our home. This is where our daughter was baptized and received her holy communion.

Then, after that marriage ended too—oh boy—I did not feel comfortable continuing in this church with mostly intact families. I do have to say that no longer attending church with my daughter at the formidable age of ten is one of the worst decisions I’ve made.

Where is God?
During the divorce, I was lost and desperate, and so needed God in my life. While I had been going to church, and following the routines, I was not truly engaged in the Word or having a relationship with God. I knew that I did not want to go back to the Catholic Church experience, and too ashamed to return to “our family” Lutheran church.

Then, a colleague at work, Susan, suggested a Christian church down the street from my house. I like to refer to it as my “rock concert” church. The music is amazing, as is the message that the pastors preach directly from the Bible.

For someone who feels the Holy Spirit through music, I knew I was home. I do remember walking in the first time and thought that I was going to be struck by lightning, I felt sacrilegious. There were thousands of people, no cross, no communion, no holy water, no kneelers, etc., etc.—oh my.

Then I heard the pastors and the message. They are truly a gift from God, teaching us and bringing real-life messages on how to live more like Jesus and apply it into our day-to-day lives.

Each time I attend and listen to the sermon, it is as if the message is just for me; it resonates. It is exactly what I need to hear each and every time: whether it is about forgiveness; being the best loving disciple I can me; putting faith and family first; how to be committed, kind and real; and how to have a direct relationship with GOD through prayer and the words of Jesus.

How Do I Pray?
I realized that growing up Catholic, I had memorized “Our Father,” but had not truly learned to pray, and needed to learn. With this realization, I sought out my friends Dana and Pam, and my sister Brigette to help me. They are the most knowledgeable women I know, and they have the most Bible verses memorized of anyone I know. I am truly in awe. With their assistance, I started to learn how to pray.

First (they said), show gratitude for all that I have, and thank the Lord for your blessings.

Second, ask for forgiveness for thoughts, acts, or deeds where I have been less than stellar.

Third (they continued), ask God to watch over, bless, and provide strength and wisdom for any area of life where I need assistance.

Last, but most certainly not least, I was to ask God to provide safety, security, and love for my loved ones and those in need, whether acquaintances or complete strangers.

Learning About “I Am”
It was during this time that I ran into a former neighbor of mine, Martha, a true Godly woman. She invited me to attend Tuesday evening Bible study sessions, which met in a warehouse and was led by a woman warrior, God’s child and servant, Laura Busse.

Apropos, the homework for these Bible study sessions was to read excerpts from the Bible, as we were going through the Gospel of John, and learning about Jesus’ “I am” statements.

This is really the first time that I actually read the Bible. I never knew where to start, or how to become immersed in the Word. I would always start at the beginning with Genesis and got lost, and not in a good way, with all the names that frankly meant nothing to me.

Now I Am Listening
Do you want to hear the irony? Martha had invited me to a women’s Bible study many years earlier at her house. I tried it once, and said, “I do not have the time for this,” and stopped attending. How wrong was I? In my heart, I believe that if I had gotten into the Word exactly when my life was too busy to do so, I would have heard and learned how to put God first, learned how to be a better wife, and would still be married to my daughter’s dad today.

All Angles and Angels
God was speaking to me from all angles, or shall I say angels. I just needed to pause and take the time to listen.

You see, it was also during this time that I was working out with Trainer Joe Roseberry. He had just received what I like to call a download from God, and authored a book called: The Key to a More Enjoyable Quality of Life from A-Z. (It is available on Amazon, and I strongly recommend it to everyone!)

It is the “how to of happiness.” Part of this very successful program, and one that taught me how to love myself again, and others, is what I like to call the MBS squared program: Mind, Body, Soul, and Spirit.

The Spirit part of the program includes regularly going outside one’s comfort zone, paying it forward, paying it back, and carrying out random acts of kindness for strangers, in summary—God’s Work. I was onboard, and as we all know, doing something for someone else is so rewarding for those of us providing the gift.

Part of this program is to learn how to spend time working on “you” and being your best self so that you are that much fuller, and more capable of giving to and loving others.

Blessings from a Wake-up Call
It was only after learning how to “put the oxygen mask on first” and incorporating this into my life that I received an email from my friend, Laura Busse inviting me to a retreat at her home to connect with God. You see, I was on her mailing list from the Tuesday evening women’s Bible study.

I asked my daughter if she would mind if I spent the day away in the mountains, connecting with God. She, as the beautiful, supportive daughter that she is, said, “Go for it, Mom!” Therefore, I did.

It was transformational. The experience and the connection with the Holy Spirit was magical. I was literally standing on Laura’s lovely porch, surrounded by God’s majestic mountains, and basking in God’s light (both figuratively and literally, as the sun was shining) and love.

It was through this experience at Laura’s home that I was “called” to help busy working mothers navigate work, household, marriage, and child rearing by putting God first.

Another gift that Laura has given me, and the world, is this amazing mobile app called 3 O’clock Wake-up Call that she created. Giving thanks to GOD at 3pm: Everyone, Every Nation, Every Day. She shares her real-life situations and struggles, and how God shows up in them. Each message resonates on so many levels. I strongly recommend you download it. It gets us into the Word daily and helps us to be better Christians.

It Takes A Team
When I was young, I often worried. Then I became invincible during my adolescent and young adult years, only to become a “worrier” again when I become a mother, responsible for another living soul. I worried so much so that I truly believe that by focusing on the negative, I sent out negative energy and sometimes exactly was I was worried about actually happened—dear Lord.

Throughout my spiritual growth, I have learned the Word and continue to work on following the Word.

Don’t worry about anything but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel. (Philippians 4:6-7.)

When I feel that I need extra reinforcement to bring peace, love, happiness, and safety to my daughter, I always call on our dear family friends, Ida and Ruth to pray with me, as they have a deep, personal, and intimate connection with God, and truly love us both.
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. (Matthew 18:20)

Asking, Seeking, and Knocking
So, the question remains, why do I pray? I truly believe in the power of prayer and that God can restore, heal, guide, strengthen, and perform miracles. This does not mean that bad things do not happen to good people. It does mean that he is there to lean on and love us even when life on Earth presents challenges and hardships.

I have read several educational books that have helped me to understand more deeply the power of prayer, heaven, and God. Imagine Heaven by John Burke and Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo have provided me with insights about near-death experiences and about visits with Jesus.

I have learned about out-of-this-world experiences described by Dr. Ruth Anderson in her books: One Love: Divine Healing at Open Clinic, Walking with Spirit: Divine Illuminations on Life, Death & Beyond, and the forthcoming Listening to Light: Love Letters from Walking with Spirit. By reading about these experiences, I have learned to pray and to call on God with knowledge that he is there. If you really want to “know,” I strongly encourage you to read these books. They are truly enlightening.

The other day in our women’s Bible study, I had a big revelation. My life is in a good place, and so when asked what I would like to have prayed for this week, I asked for prayers to be extended to the “other woman” and their families to help with their struggles.

Then one week, I said, “Please pray for me to find a loving husband,” and two dear women said something that made me speechless: “If it’s God’s will.” I thought quite hard about their insightful input. Their loving addition taught me that God knows what is in my heart, and to include in my prayers: “God’s will be done.”

I continue to learn to trust in the Lord and to know that Divine timing is truly his, as is evidenced in me still seeking a life partner to be my loving husband. Now I include in my prayers the phrase, “God’s will be done.”

I am still learning how to pray. I have faith in Christ, and I continue working on developing my relationship with God. The reality is that praying is a conversation, a practice, a habit; something that changes, evolves, and develops, as we navigate this challenging journey we call “life.”

Please remember: Ask, and it will be given you; Seek and you will find; Knock, and the door will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7).

With love and prayers, Denice Marie

About Denice Marie
You can contact Denice for inspiration and knowing how to embrace a Christ-centered spiritual connection at 303.859.2356.

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